“How you say what you
say can matter more than what you say.”
–Anon
–Anon
Sometimes how you say matters more
than what you say. Sometimes you can speak too loudly to be heard. Or your tone, look, or
stance, can subvert your intended message. The more important the topic, the
deeper and perhaps more raw the emotions. A shared re-centering or re-balancing
mechanism may foster both more self-control and more understanding when
there is, as there inevitably will be, loss of control. The mechanism could
involve timed cool-down periods. Suggestions welcome.
To Do
|
To Be
|
To Appear
|
Listen
|
Thankful
|
Look-check
|
Empathize
|
Calm
|
Tone-check
|
Encourage
|
Confident
|
Stance-check
|
Not take things personally
|
Forgiving
|
|
Speak the truth as you see it at the cost of embarrassing
yourself or others
|
What would you add or
subtract?
In the Odyssey, Odysseus has his sailors tie him to the mast
so he can listen to the Song of the Sirens without throwing himself into the
sea to his death.
The Thinking Citizen Checklist is like the rope.
We must learn to hold back our instinctive tribalistic urges
and learn to listen to others and control ourselves.
Checklists should be customized. Some of us have more of a
problem listening.